Editorial: How Fortunate the Printer!

Not long ago, I read an article that made me laugh so hard I could barely catch my breath. It contained a list of fortune cookie style fortunes for writers. They mostly had to do with common grammar and punctuation pet peeves. It hit all my hot spots: commas, hyphens, improper capitalization, and turning nouns into verbs. One of my favorites was, “Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural, a puppy dies.” I love puppies, so please don’t ever do this again.

The article got me thinking that it would be fun to write fortunes for printers. And since the end of the year is all about celebrations and having fun, that’s just what I decided to do. As I embark on this effort, I offer a tip of the hat to Laura Hale Brockway, who wrote the article that so amused and inspired me. And just to give credit where it is due, Bob got in on the fun and contributed some of these too.

• Addressing mail pieces does not make you a marketing services provider.

• If you can’t do the job well…outsource it!

• As soon as you deliver that big, complex project, the customer will immediately spot a typo.

• If you want loyal customers, connect with them on a regular basis.

• You will suffer mixed emotions when, after spending your life savings on your daughter’s Ph.D. in philosophy, she decides she’d rather work in your shop after all.

• A job on the press is worth two being quoted.

• While shopping you scrutinize all the signage to determine which of your competitors did the work.

• Good things come to those who get out and sell.

• A new profit center is on the horizon.

• Read your favorite trade publication and it will lead you toward prosperity.

• No matter what technology brings, people still do business with people.

• To what question are you the answer?

I hope you have enjoyed a prosperous 2013 and that the coming year will bring you lots of work, high margins, and personal satisfaction. Happy holidays!